Reflections

It dawned on me today after listening to my counterparts speak “it has to make sense.”

Thoughts of when I once managed a team in a contact center and my staff probably said the same about me. It has to make sense…

People, opinions, jobs, money, problems, circumstances…does it make sense? A lot of the time we don’t understand why things happen and even if we think we know where does that lead. Common sense, logic and emotional intelligence.

As a believer, I have learned that whatever comes my way I know where my help comes from and he is my peace and comfort. My cornerstone and refuge. Whatever it is… I just need to have faith!  This is so deep in me that I don’t fret. Problems will come but I know that He has already overcome the world. Believing in this way has brought me through valleys where I may have gone mad.

So many times I want to feel sorry for myself, crawl in a hole and cry. I want to give up. Yet that still small voice tells me to get back up again and try. Get back up again and laugh, get back up again and fight. These have been my lessons and the reason why he has taught me patience, discipline and self control. Knowing I am really going to need to practice them when I am in a storm. He prepares us gracefully.

I’ve been around various walks of life with different opinions, strong views and sometimes jagged perceptions who make me question when. When did you allow someone else power over your heart that you hate so deeply and feel justified in it. Who was the person who shattered your dreams and made you stop in time? I can speak to this because I was this… jaded, abrupt, often a very angry person who like bug repellent kept people away. Jesus is a healer! Amen!

Today I praise and worship God for bringing me out of myself. There is still healing happening but I am not that hurting person any more. Today I stop and ask, what would you have me do Lord. In this circumstance that seems so bad and more than I think I can handle. How would you have me proceed?

And the more I reflect on Jesus’ life, did it make sense when it was prophesied a king would come to save the world that ended with beating, suffering and crucifixion. How he saved us by shedding his blood on a cross to show us that we would endure suffering too? How the Messiah was buried and rose again to sit on a heavenly throne? Did any of it make sense to a people who witnessed his miracles but thought he was a fraud anyway and discounted his teaching?

He died so I could live in freedom from the darkness of the world. While I am in this world I am not of this world. Joy in knowing the truth is freedom! I am thankful for this wisdom… and while I don’t have all the answers to his mystery, I walk confidently knowing where he has brought me from. I’ve lived in the prison of my mind and today I am free. Praise Abba, praise Jehovah, praise ruach hakodesh!