Breaking

Like anything, there is a beginning and an end.

A preacher told me about breaking. The break that needs to occur to help me with this bad thing that I need to get rid of in order to get to the eventual thing that will be good for me. The bad thing is a lie. How I appear to others in my faith walk but am not.

I rely on myself and my own way of doing things, instead of relying on Him while I wait. How many times has He spoken to me about submission…countless. I can’t even count! He has tried to do it gracefully in loving ways but nope… I don’t accept it. Filling my time with “things” for the kingdom which is not what matters in this season. Pressed on all sides to the point that I feel I am losing it. My family suffers and so do I. He will have His way and I know it already, I know it!

This… Is … His… Work… In… Me.

My feelings of inadequacy all over again. My “don’t give a hoot” when I know I do attitude. My “working to appease everyone” when I know I need to spend time with Him but don’t. My “got it all together” advertisement, when I’ve expired.

Obedience, it all boils down to this one thing. AM I or AREN’T I.

God! God! For my good and your glory.

Each and every time you lead me back to the bible. Without fail, all that I seek is within the word of life. Today I stay on the breaking, cuz I know a blessing is on its way. You are allowing everything from family, work, church to be out of control. I am failing cuz you want the lies and the facade to go. It needs to go! This lie needs to go! I need to submit to you. For my home, marriage, children, and ministry. 

My hands will raise the long forgotten, the desperate and destitute this is what you told me. You are breaking me cuz I need to be broken and I praise you, Lord. I praise you!